A perspective about titles, respect and why they matter.
By Amy V. Simmons
There is an insidious history of African American adults — but women in particular — being stripped of even the most basic of titles and called by their first name without permission.
It began during slavery, where people were literally stripped of their given names and surnames and renamed by the enslavers.
That is, when they weren’t being called “George,” “boy,” “gal,” “auntie” or worse — pejoratives meant to further strip identity, dignity, and power, and a practice that extended well into the 20th century.
It stood in contrast with mainstream societal norms, which dictated that in polite, formal society, adults were to be addressed by a title — white adults, that is.
In response, a custom began where many African American parents taught their children to address adults as “Mr.” or “Miss” when addressing them by their first names (with permission). Married men and women were to be addressed as “Mr.” and “Mrs.” — again, the only exception being permission to call them anything less formal. The tradition continues in many families to this day.
But right now, I’m focusing on women.
If you ask around, just about every African American family probably has a story featuring an ancestor who fought back against the indignity of having their mother, grandmothers or other adult women referred to by their first names only, even by children.
My late father — who I believe was about 12 years old at the time — was the one in my family to challenge this effrontery back in the 1930s. The family’s insurance agent, a white man, came to the door and asked my dad whether his mother was home, using her first name. The agent was neither my grandmother’s friend nor a relative, and no, did not have permission to do so.
My father replied by slamming the door in his face and demanding that the agent address her by her title or hit the road. He knew, even as a child, that titles matter, and wasn’t having it that day.
Which brings me to 21st century societal norms in this country that I have a problem with. One of them is referring to certain professional women, especially those who are elected officials, by their first names only.
Especially Black women. There is a history of erasure in this practice.
So, it is my belief that to everyone who is not a friend or family member…
Her name is Vice President Kamala Harris. Before that, she was U.S. Senator Kamala Harris. And even before that, California Attorney General Kamala Harris and San Francisco District Attorney Kamala Harris.
(And while we’re at it, unless you are her niece, nephew or god child, it is U.S. Rep. Maxine Waters).
Yes, I said it. Yes, I know it is common practice now. Yes, I know I live in a country where folks need to know that they can have a beer with the leader of the free world. Yes, I know that being “excited” about a candidate is more important to many than knowing how their “boring” government works, regardless of whatever existential peril that government is in.
But stop and think about where we stand now with another prominent, accomplished woman at the top of the presidential ticket.
We see how well the whole first name business went in 2016 when Secretary (and former U.S. Senator and First Lady) Hillary Clinton became simply “Hillary” as if none of those hard fought for titles mattered. The lame excuse that it was an attempt to distinguish her from her husband, former President Bill Clinton, is almost as insulting.
Stripping women in leadership of their titles to make them more “relatable” (beer summits not included) diminishes their power and invites a familiarity and intimacy that is uninvited. It can make them appear unserious after a lifetime of high achievement. It infantilizes them.
Now, I understand that in most cases, this might not be the original intent. Campaigns in the U.S. have always been full of nicknames, slogans, rhymes, cartoons and satire. Vice President Harris — like Secretary Clinton before her — has granted permission for the campaign to promote her candidacy using her first name. The permission is the point.
Many voters and candidates alike love the intimacy, excitement and enthusiasm that modern campaigning brings, especially with the technological advances of the last 35 years.
Humor and human connection is a great leveler.
And any modern politician who is truly interested in transformative governance and in what matters most to their constituents enjoys the opportunity to interact personally with them — and yes, to have fun with them.
However, nowadays, perception appears to carry more weight than reality — perception that is augmented via these same technological advances, like the still loosely regulated AI and social media disinformation campaigns meant to exploit all of this access. As well as the outsized influence of some mainstream media organizations, especially those that seem to be paying more attention to clicks rather than their reputations or legacies these days. It’s dangerous.
And frankly, I believe that the whole title dropping thing seems to happen more when referring to powerful women than men. I believe that is intentional. But I will leave my skeptical front door cracked — for now — as I take it all in.
Disclaimer: The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the article belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the author’s employer, The Philadelphia Sunday SUN, the author’s organization, committee or other group or individual.
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