By cj
While recently having a conversation with a family member, I had to share with them that the way my life was when my siblings and I were growing up was a very different experience from that of my daughter In fact, my peers who also have children around the same age are experiencing the same thing – it’s almost as if they are computer-generated duplicates.
I remember when my daughter was old enough to express her own opinion. Although she has always had her own opinion — children are born with their own opinions — but when she was able to express herself about wanting to have her hair to look like this and to look like that.
Even now, as I drive down the street and look through the classrooms of the school that I was working for, and in so many other spaces and places, the girls look exactly alike. My child has grown up to be a mature adult, yet the hairstyles of both girls and women seem to be similar.
Although they tend to look similar, when we choose to wear our hair in locs, they are natural and unique to each person, in how they grow and in how we decide to style them. However, I believe that sometimes, when we modify our look by doing things like adding extra hair, this form of individual expression can be lost, and we end up looking more like a computer-generated duplicate of another person.
I also often observe young boys, teenage boys and those in their 20s dressed the same — and all in black: black masks, black shirts, black pants, black sneakers, black sweat hoods, and others forms of clothing in black, like computer-generated duplicates of each other. It is hard to believe that our youth appear to be carbon copies of what society has dictated, but they are not at fault, let alone their parents. As parents, we are doing our jobs, but technology has become a huge influence on one’s sense of mind, sense of self, an idea of what love really is, a sense of responsibility, or a respect for authority.
I pray I am not offending you, because that is not my intention, but my words are here to speak plainly about what we are seeing every day.
It seems as if individuality has dissipated — leading people to conclude, “I much rather be you than me,” “I much rather go down your path instead of creating one of my own,” “I much rather sit back and let you to do the work, and then I am going to take a little bit off skim some for myself as I just sit here.”
The expectations of those being pressured to become computer-generated duplicates are overwhelmingly atrocious. It is a competing vision with what parents want for their children – that although they may struggle to set individual goals, that eventually they take that first step and these goals become achievements. There are far too many young people who are no longer here, too many who are behind bars, and too many that just sit around the house and play video games all day and do absolutely nothing else. Conversely, there are others who are striving, but then they still seem to fall short — far too many.
We have to unplug the mental generator that is influencing young people to become computer-generated duplicates so that when they wake up each day, they see themselves as individuals, they love themselves, want to be themselves, and they are looking forward to setting and meeting the personal goals, be able to take care of themselves, and be responsible in this world this place we call “Amerika.” it is the parents’ job to be supportive, and at times that support takes on the form of tough love. Real love must take place, and those seeds must be planted, or the young person whose individuality is being challenged may not be able to live on their own the way God says they can, in every aspect of their life.
As we continue to encourage our youth and mentees, nurture our partnerships — and whatever “ships” that God is sailing their way and your way — let us be true, honest, and open. If we have to, let us have those conversations — a must to have the open door of ‘how can I help you to get there.’ available to them. Until next time, take care…PEACE!
cj is an author, poet, educator, spoken word artist, writer, motivational speaker, and inspirational writer who resides in Philadelphia. If you were moved by this piece, shoot cj a “like” or comment at: [email protected].
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